What is a Death Doula?
We are all here for but a brief time
A death doula guides a person who is transitioning to death and their loved ones through the dying process.
A death doula, also know as an End of Life coach or End of Life Companion, is a person who is multi skilled and helps in a verity of ways. We work in addition to someone’s existing palliative, hospice or medical care, not in place of it. While some of us may have medical experience, the work of a death doula is not a medical profession. Death doulas are all unique and add personal comforts to their individual clients, but for the most part we all seek to aid in the autonomy of the dying. This means that we look to aid the person in the process of dying first. Sometimes that aid looks like fluffing pillows. Sometimes it means prayer. In all aspects, we seek to help the dying pass with dignity and hope. In our advanced society today, we should all have the ability to access tools for a prepared death. As a death doula, I help with some of the physical, phycological and spiritual preparations for that passing.
What I can NOT do
I can not give you medication. I can not talk to your doctor for you. I can not clean your house. I can not mend fences. I can not fix what’s hurting you. I can not give you all the answers. I can not make anyone love you. I can not help you take a shower. I can not sell your furniture. I can not absolve you of your sins. I can not judge you.
But I can help you find people who can do some of these things.
What I can do
I can sit with someone in their final hours. I can talk with people about their hopes and fears. I can help them leave moments for loved ones. I can make tea and offer to listen. I can gently apply oils that smell nice and maybe ease some pain. I can help organize photos and memories. I can make phone calls to old acquaintances. I can offer you spiritual reflections. I can offer you soothing stones to hold. I can contact local churches. I can light a candle and open a window for you when you pass. I can help your circle of care to feel comfort when you’re gone.
“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
– Mark Twain
